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April 2021 Newsletter

April 2021 Newsletter

April 15, 2021 by Homer

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The Rules of Chocolate

  • If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as a fruit. So eat as many as you want.
  • The Problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.
    The Solution: Eat it in the parking lot.
  • Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less.
  • A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?
  • If you can’t eat all of your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all of your chocolates, what’s wrong with you?
  • If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.
  • Money talks. Chocolate sings.
  • Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.
  • Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? Because no one wants to quit!
  • Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.
  • Chocolate is a health food. Chocolate is derived from cacao beans. Bean=vegetable. Sugar is derived either from sugar beets or cane, both vegetables. And, of course, the milk/cream is dairy. So eat more chocolate to meet the dietary requirements for daily vegetable and dairy intake.

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455 East 500 South Suite 305
Salt Lake City, UT 84111

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Copyright © 2023 · OXFORD FINANCIAL GROUP, Salt Lake City, Utah.
Check the background of your financial professional on FINRA's BrokerCheck. John Homer is an Investment Advisory Representative of, and offers Investment Advisory Services through TownSquare Capital, LLC an SEC Registered Investment Advisor. John Homer is an Investment Advisory Representative of, and offers Investment Advisory Services through Portside Wealth Group, LLC an SEC Registered Investment Advisor. TownSquare Capital, LLC, Portside Wealth Group, LLC and their representatives do not provide tax or legal advice. Securities offered through The Leaders Group, Inc. Member FINRA/SIPC. 26 W Dry Creek Circle, Suite 800, Littleton, CO 80120. 303-797-9080 Each firm only transacts business in states where it is properly registered or is excluded or exempted from registration requirements. This is not an offer to sell or a solicitation to buy in any state the representative is not securities registered and insurance licensed in. SEC registration does not constitute an endorsement of the firm by the Commission, nor does it indicate that the Advisor referenced in this disclosure has attained a particular level of skill or ability.

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